sweet escape

i changed my long gown

take my jewelries off

wash my face smudged with a lot of dirt

pull my down

wear my oversized t-shirt

slip my shorts and ready to take the toll

people looked at me differently

people see me perfectly

people expects too much from me

but im glad they do

im glad that they are showing me

but sometimes i wished that they didn't

sometimes i wished that i hadn't had seen it

i end up doing things that they tell me explicitly

i end up doing good in every thing that they expect me to do

i end up beating up the coward in me

and sometimes i just wanted to run

run and run and run

i can't breathe

i can't take it all in

i just can't

tonight i'll be sleeping in my crowded room

and tomorrow i'll be wearing those flashy things

this flashy smile

i just hope i won't run too much

i might not be able to come back

pitch black

it's 12 o'clock in the morning

lights still on

hand scratching my head

its starting to hurt

my nails

so sharp

my head

although it hurts

even if it pains me

i just need to continue

i might slice my head

it might bleed

i know

but

i don't want to stop

not yet

i need to satisfy

the urge

the want

the need

but if somebody stop me

pull my hand

and start helping me ease the pain

then i might stop

stop

stop it

start all over again

patch things up

heal the slice

and maybe i might cut my nail short again

but if not

i might still be scratching it

till the day that it comes